copy right

Terence told me that the copy right is getting very serious, even towards the young people. I was curious about his upset and asked why.

"Some of my schoolmates do not even want to pay HK$15 for my CD but said will get the download copy from the one who has already purchased from me. Isn't it a very serious problem?"

I shared his disappointment of not be respected and appreciated for his music creation.

Recently, Terence has put all the songs and music he has composed during the past 2 to 3 years in to a CD and sell to his schoolmates for HK$15 purposely to make some money for donating for his Greenpeace charity band show in his school.

While sharing his feeling, I was surprised to know the number of songs he has made - I guess over 20. I began to think.....

• What is in Terence's mind?
• Where are his sources of input? good or bad?
• How does he process them?
• What is his core value?
• What does he want to express those music with?
• What are those music mean to him?
• How will all these existing stuff affecting his growth and his future life?
• Why it happens to him?

Image

With the special offer by Anita, image coach, my colleague at HKICC, Michelle was able to get a treat for a personal image and color consultation.

Colore Tone : Mostly Cold #8
Signature Color : Peach, Pink and Light Purple in cold tone, Black and Dark Brown as base color, Navy Blue can be used when grown up for formal business dress code. Causal Base can use navy green to contra with bright cold color. Avoid orange, pale green warm color.
Body Shape : Rectangle (longer in waist) avoid highlighting the waist
Small shoulder : avoid tight top
Lips and Cheek Color : light peach (natural)
Make Up focus : Eyes
Hair Style : More volume on top to balance the narrow forehead
Earring : avoid same length as the jaw
Handbag Length : avoid highlight the waist
Dress Style : Sporty Basic plus Elegant accent

Key words: choose a color can enhance and expand your natural color on the eye ball, lips, cheek.

Choose darker color when you want to keep people apart
Choose lighter color when you want to feel approachable
Cold color carries blue tone; Warm color carries yellow tone

甚麽是「生活」？

Terence 問我 : 「甚麽是生活？」

「嘩，一個很難答的問題呀！」感到非常噩然的我為了不要令他失望便繼續說：「在我的立場來說，就是每天照顧 Daddy和你們、做好Coach的工作、關心外婆、做自己喜歡做的事、見自己想見的人等等吧。」

「為甚麽在人的生活上有那麽多的拺縛和社會的規距？」

「你覺得那是規距嗎？有什麽問題呢？」我好奇的問。

「那麽生活就不會快樂了！」

「二年前在去布吉島旅行中，你曾說過很響往那些操船作業的年青伙子，可以每日面對碧海藍天，那是不是你所希望的生活呢？」

「那些層次太低了。」

在不清楚他指的是那方面的層次中，我繼續問：「那麽你最希望活出的生活是甚樣的呢？」

Terence想了一會兒才說：「好以一個Budda坐在樹下思想人生吧！」

「你是指釋迦牟尼嗎？我想他也是由於關心社會才有此一著吧。那看來人的生活當中，總有其他人存在，便形成社會吧！你曾否試過好像釋迦牟尼的行為呢？」

「有呀！我曾經坐在草地上思想過。這樣一想便可用上一整天，但又要上班，怎算呢？！」

「嘩！你一定想了很多吧！花上整天去思想，難道你不用吃飯、上洗手間、照顧你的家人和休息嗎？」

「總之我不明白為甚麽要生活。」Terence的專注力開始減退，便談到此。

之後，我自己把這話題繼續思想下去.......「生命」與「生活」。雅各書4:13-17說 ：「.....主若願意，我們就可以活着，也可以做這事，或做那事。.........」 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of wisdom, love and sounded-mind."

我再把同一問題去問Michelle。她說：「生活是 - to live a life is "to love" and "be loved"。」
Well, to me to live on a life is "to realize the gratification of the given life with a chosen meaning and purpose as the motivation to live on, from where to create nice memories until we embrace them to ahead for the eternal life" .

2006的暑假

Terence對我說：「今年的暑假不錯。過去兩年我實在浪費了兩年的暑假。」

Terence今年剛考完GCE"O" level及已十六歲。這意味著什麼呢？

他不想参加HOPE在張家界教英文的義工團，因為他不喜歡中國，但卻提出想在香港做義工。感謝神的安排，Terence可以幫助他的表弟寶恆補習英文、又可以和其他teens在HOPE office做些文書工作、最後更幫美珍香在Food Expo做臨時工，跟有16年燒牛肉乾經驗的阿傑師傅學師，並賺取了一千元外塊。

這些經驗給他帶來的啟發頗有意義。Terence說：「看見入場参觀Food Expo的人，東看看，西吃吃，頗為逍灑。他們知否我們工作的是十分辛苦的呀！」

「做賣食物的人通常有多少人工呢？」

「我這两天，每天8小時在燒牛肉乾，現在閉上眼睛時，也可以看見牛肉乾飛來飛去。如果我每天都在燒牛肉乾，重覆那些動作，我相信我會變得蠢多了。」

「如果我做老板，我會多給那些辛勞的人高些人工，我自己拿少一點也可以。」

「我看見little auntie和姨丈一家人的生活不錯，他們是partner老板，可以做決策，員工又喜歡他們，又有時間和子女一起。」

8月24日開課了，Terence回校的第一件事，便是領取 GCE "O" Level 考試的成績，結果是3A4B2C1E。

從音樂看他的價值觀

Terence在學校的音樂會中認識了他在音樂的措藝上欣賞的一名港大醫科ニ年生Adam，他們遇矣在網上用MSN交流音樂上的想法。有一天，Terence更很有興旨地把Adam放在他自己音樂網站上的相片給我看，一張是Adam穿上醫生袍和同學合照的學生相，另一張正是他瘋狂地投入他的音樂演凑時的表演相。不失為一個特別的現代青年人，有學歴又有自己的興趣及理想。

正是此時，Terence更向我提出想跟Adam學習彈結他。由於他一直都是自學，所以我也支持他的想法，使Terence可以在他的音樂尋求過程中有一個review，在幫他了解及理清了他在時間上的安排後，我們便同意Terence先學習數堂，然後便專心準備GCSE考試，等7月放暑假時再繼續學習。就這樣我亦樂意為他支付300元一小時的學費。

每次學習回來，他都很興奮的告訴我他所學習到的新東西，有些技巧雖然Terence在自學過程中也有發現及運用，但由於經過Adam的解釋，他便能懂得更活用及再發展那些技巧，他頓然發覺音樂中更廣闊的天空。

有一天，當Peter來我們家和Terence spend time時，Terence 把他跟Adam學到的技巧也毫無保留地教導了Peter， Peter也覺得難度極高，未能掌握。Terence解釋他自己也曾經用心地花了一定的時間去拴摩及領悟才能明白其中奥妙，真是不簡單的啊。Terence更告訴我Keein也想學和他亦同意教Keein。我便打趣的問Terence : 「如果你再跟Adam多學一些後，不是也可以教導其他人來賺取一些零用錢嗎？」 Terence 答 : 「我不可以收錢的，因為那些技巧不是我的，它們是Adam自創的，我要尊重。」

Well spoken!

The Power of Grace

sin + repent < grace + change

In the 2005 Christmas preaching, Lawrence has given us the above formular which indicates grace catlysts the power of change.

"anatawa wasureta kashira. nijuirono .............." the same old Japanese song I have heard for 20 years since I know Ben in 1985 woke me up in the morning of the boxing day. I went to the living room and found he was playing with his new toy - a DVD recorder.

"Good morning. You are as usual busy in dubbing your same old songs from tool to tool; from tape recorder to LPD to CD to DVD and now DVD changable Hard Disk. Yet, you have not added any new songs to what you are used to listen for over 20 years, right?. Are they your good old friends of Minami Kosetsu, Inoue Yoshui, Beatles......?"

"Hum."

"Like father like son. Now Terence loves music even more than you do. Moreover, he can compose song and write lyric. Yesterday before dinner time, he came to me puzzling about the theme of his new song. Finally he said - yes, the tsunami! When I went to bed at 12am, he brought to me his newly written lyric. I was so impressed by a couple of lines which says - [........Dear mother, stolen by the ocean.....I can make my living by selling pearls drip out from the eyes. ] What he means the pearls are the tears. It's so touching, isn't it?"

"Hum."

"I think Terence is quite a ressemble of you."

Ben replied me seriously for the first time, "No, I am a all rounded person."

"Well, is there any way that you can help him to become a same all rounded person as you do?"

"He can look at me and see what I do."

"Being a teenager, he might not be conscious about everything happening around him. Then, how would you attract him to observe your modelling deeper and fuller?"

"I dont know."

"Could you give a second thought?" I added a bit of encouragement.

"No, I dont know."

"I think seeing or observing is a good way to resemble. How about if you could do something together with Terence to let him experience the process of your thinking in a deeper sense?"

a long silence began and the conversation stopped here...........

In the dinner time, Ben was still playing his same old songs with the new DVD recorder. It's George Harrison's My Sweet Lord. Suddenly, Ben stopped and asked Terence, "can you play this tune? get your guitar and try now."

I was surprised how rare Ben to allow Terence to play guitar in the middle of the dinner.

"Hey, Terernce, I know the chord. What you have to do is to play the tune as George did. That's the part I could not manage."

The picture right in front of me was [the father and son jamming music]. I could not stop telling Ben, "Woow! what a great connection between you and Terence. Awesome!"

Without too much effort, Terence could play exactly as George did. "You are wonderful!" Ben complimented Terence with a cheerful smile.

The power of Grace wins hearts and clues people in harmony.......amen!

No Grey Area

James 4: 4-10

Michelle: "Mom, I want to share first as I am almost time to go out."

Bonnie: "No problem but please wait until Terence settles down himself on the sofa."

Michelle: " v4 says choose to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. In the world, there is many kinds of temptation, in particular worst to me is the material world. If I choose to be friend of materials, I will want more money and may think of wicked ways to satisfy my desires. There is also other temptations like: selfishness, anger, tell lies. Those are sins that wont please to God."

Bonnie: "How do these sins relate to you?"

Michelle: " I follow God's way and then I will not be tempted."

Bonnie: "Great insight! OK go and get change."

Terence: "v7-8 says Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. It seems I have made a bad choice of decided not to study Bible now. That means I will not be near to God."

Bonnie: "Are you doing anything to get yourself nearer to God now?"

Terence: "I am going to church on Sunday."

Bonnie: "How do you feel your heart in connection with God."

Terence: "Not very deep but there is still a bit of my intention to get near to God by going to church on Sunday."

Bonnie: "Well, as you said that's a bit. I appreciate your effort and from there I wish you could build up deeper and stronger connection with God when time goes by."

My Responsibility

Terence: "Mom, Edwin asked me to study Bible or not?"

Bonnie: "What did you say?"

Terence: "As I told you that I do not want to study Bible now. However, I felt very bad of refusing people."

Bonnie: "I think important is you have to be honest to the person asking and yourself."

Terence: " Yes, Scott has said in today's sermon that if your invited person does not want to study Bible, it is not your fault. It is his/her choice."

Bonnie: "Good listener! Isn't it true that you have decided not to study Bible now? No matter how, I respect your choice. You may also have to aware that it is your choice to bear the outcome of this decision. Well, am I right to catch that you will consider this topic again later, right?"

Terence: "May be."

Check our Motives

James 4:1-3

We all aware that whatever we do, check our motives first. If for wrong motives, we will not receive even we asked.

Prayer over MSN

By Michelle, Miko and Joshua 2.9.2005

*

One day… After School when two girls and one boy went back home, they switched on the computer and Signed in on MSN Messenger.They made a conference conversation together …Suddenly something came up on a girl’s mind……

[下午 06:21:09] Michelle: we all pray together
[下午 06:21:13] Michelle: Dear God
[下午 06:21:24] Miko: lol
[下午 06:21:30] Michelle: carry on
[下午 06:21:34] Joshua: wait dun interrupt
[下午 06:21:45] Joshua: ok who first
[下午 06:21:49] Michelle: me
[下午 06:21:52] Michelle: then
[下午 06:22:02] Joshua: ok
[下午 06:22:12] Michelle: Dear God
[下午 06:25:20] Michelle: I hope Terence’s problems will be all solved so quickly... I will do anything just if he can Get well. I will never quarrelle with him, never hit him, Never call him names or stuff. Never ever do anything Which makes him angry or feel bad, I just hope that he
Could get well as soon as possible. So that our love and Our support can carry him along a healthy and loving Road, just hope that he'll get better...... God bless him
Please listen to Miko/Joshua's prayer......
[下午 06:25:42] Joshua: ok me?
[下午 06:25:46] Michelle: sure!
[下午 06:25:49] Joshua: k
[下午 06:26:21] Joshua: dear god in heaven, thank u for giving us this chance to realize how frail we are, and how much we need u in troubled times.
[下午 06:26:28] Joshua: pray for Terence
[下午 06:26:42] Miko: me?
[下午 06:27:01] Michelle: w8
[下午 06:27:27] Michelle: I guess Joshua is continuing
[下午 06:28:18] Joshua: who is sick now and needs your help, pray that u will help him get well soon and be with us again, I hope that u will also offer some comfort through your word to Michelle and auntiebonnie and Uncle Ben, thank god that We are all here to pray for him and pray that he will get well soon
[下午 06:28:23] Joshua: plz listen to miko's prayer
[下午 06:31:05] Miko: dear god~ Thank you for letting me gets to know Terence this
Wonderful friend... who I knew from 6. But because he is Sick now I really hope you can heal him.... and that Bonnie and Uncle Ben and michy will not be so worried~~~ Thank you thank you again for giving me this wonderful friend...
[下午 06:31:28] Michelle: Amen
[下午 06:31:29] Joshua: amen?
[下午 06:31:32] Joshua: amen
[下午 06:31:34] Miko: amen
[下午 06:31:36] Michelle: kaka
[下午 06:31:42] Miko: that was nice
[下午 06:31:43] Joshua: wow prayer over msn
[下午 06:31:45] Joshua: so pro
[下午 06:31:46] Michelle: ye
[下午 06:32:05] Michelle: feel so spirited
[下午 06:32:18] Miko: good idea!!! I can pray like that with
Renee too! ^^

上頭的智慧

James 3:13-18 Two Kinds of Wisdom

We did this week's QT on Friday because both Terence and Michelle have to go to Pre-teens Summer Camp on 20-21 Aug, 2005.

After we have taken a OISHII Japanese ZaruSoba cooked by Wati, we started our QT.

Terence shared, "I have learned that the true wisdom is from heaven."

"Have you ever experienced any heavenly wisdom. If yes, please tell me what is it?"

"No."

"Then, do you know where you can learn the heavenly wisdom?"

"beeeebllllllee" Terence replied in his usual unclean voice with his tricky tone.

"Yes, you have been going to church for about 6 years. Do you have your most favorite bible words to share with us?" Bonnie teared Terence that his Bible is badly wearing down so he should have been very serious in reading Bible.

"Wait, my most favorite bible words are at Revelation 20:7-10. Mom, why most people feel Revelation is very difficult, it is easy for me. I also dont understand why adult dont read Revelation with us?"

"I think it is your own choice. You can read any chapter or book at anytime when you feel right to read them."

Terence started to read aloud Revelation 20:7-10 to us. "..........Lake of Fire! Everybody has to go to Lake of Fire!"

Bonnie asked, "Other than the Lake of Fire, are there any other places to go?"

"River of Lives!" Terence replied.

"Well, where is your choice?"

"River of Lives."

"In order to be there, what is necessary?"

"Believe in God."

"Yes, you are right but it sounds to me that something is still missing?"

Michelle shouted, "Baptism!"

"Yes, Baptism." Terence repeated.

" Terence, how much have you read the Revelation?"

"I have completed the whole book of Relevation. I read it in pre-teens QT. Oh! No, I should say when pre-teens QT, I did not read the assigned book but read the Revelation on my own."

Michelle shared, " I like v3:17 where says - the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercey and good fruit, impartial and sincere."

"I like to ask the same question as I put forward to Terence. Have you ever experienced any heavenly wisdom." Bonnie asked Michelle.

"I would like to say, I am quite CONSIDERATE."

"Great! If both of you like to pick a heavenly wisdom to learn and apply in your daily lives, what would that be?"

"I'd like to pick peace-loving and if posisble to apply in the pre-teens group." answered Michelle.
"Would it be more challenge if you can start applying at home for the relationship with your brother." Bonnie asked.

A silence from Michelle (I let her thinking flows within her heart.......)

"I want to pick GOOD FRUIT." Terence said.

"Mom, in last pre-teens' class, Auntie Elaine has chosen a scripture about "The Fruit of Spirit" to teach us about temptation. Please help me to find where is the scripture?" Michelle jumped into Terence's sharing.

"It is Galatians 5:22-23." I said.

"Let's get back to Terence. What does Good Fruit mean to you." Bonnie asked.

"To teach other young people something I know."

"Do you mean guitar?"

Terence replied with a nob.

"If this good fruit implies to a more spiritual sense, what would it be?"

"Then, I will teach other young people to know the teaching of the good fruit."

"That makes sense to me." and then Bonnie closed the QT.

歉卑、信實及犧牲

• Courageous to be Humble
• Courageous to be Faith (in Standard; all the time)
• Courageous to be Lost

由心至舌頭

James 3:1-12

We started today's QT by reviewing last week's conviction of "Put faith into action". Michelle said she has begun her Maths homework. She is happy that the first step in ACTION promotes her PERSERVERANCE which she has learnt in James Chapter one. Terence has completed one new song which makes a total of 3 out of his targetted 6 songs for this summer holiday. They both commented that put faith in action brings them a sense of success and fulfillment.

Michelle shared v3:6, " If the tongue is the evil part of the body, I don't want to use it to hurt people. Instead, I want to use it to say something could ENCOURAGE and APPRECIATE others. Moreover, to think before I speak could help a lot."

Terence likes v3:10, " Prasie and curse cannot come from the same tongue. If I have to choose, of course I will chose to praise."

"It's not necessary everybody will choose praise. That reflects you like to embrace praise."Bonnie added.

Bonnie found Terence is a silent boy and like to encourage him to say more praise out from his heart. After some discussion, we found Terence is lacking of FAITH in himself. His holding back attitude always leads him not to move forward. Bonnie tried to connect his successful confidence in playing guitar to use his tongue in praises.

"Terence, how many songs you have targetted to compose during the summer holiday?"

He put up a finger sign of "6"

"How do you like the progress?" Bonnie asked.

"My freinds are of out town so it seems difficult to complete."

"Well, when you set your target, do you have a feeling that you can complete them?"

"Yes, I do."

"Good, close your eyes. Retrieve that feeling and feel it again."

Terence was naughtily playing his eyes as an open eyed blind man. He was cute.

"How many songs you have completed up to today?"

"3" he continued closing his eyes.

"Great, at least you have completed 3 songs without your friends around you. Don't you think your faith to your goal motivates you by itself?"

We all agreed 3 songs have achieved 50% of the target. Well Done!

The above exercise was done to encourage Terence could expand his successful story in music to other aspects of his life.

We all enjoyed today's QT..........................

"Mom, I want to do something for your research, like producing power point for topics that you are working with." Terence held me from releasing the QT. "I want to work for you for some pocket money."

"Well, I remember you did a wonderful power point for me 2 years ago about "The possible mission". I have just finished co-authoring a book about ParentCoach. I still like to look deeper in to lives about being a woman, elderlies and teenagers. How about doing a power point for me about what do teenagers like to talk about, work on and why."

"How much you will pay for my work this time?" Terence felt most interest to know the amount.

"HK$50 for 15 slides"

"Can you give a bit more?"

"Negotiation begins, right?"

"OK, let's make it at HK$70."

"a deal"

"When will you finish?"

"This afternoon."

"Are you sure? so quick!"

Terence immediate went into his room and started the work. After 15 minutes, he called me again.

"Mom, I have finished the cover. Please come and see whether this is what you want?"

I went to his room and found he was using very interesting background for the power point slide. I like it and said, "Good start, keep it up."

On the other hand, Michelle was working very hard in drawing some cartoon girl faces. I gave her an assignment to draw 2 girl faces by distinguishing theirs emotions with their eyes; one is smiling and the other is crying. She did well. I wonder how could she just using few different lines and shades to get it done.

唔好得個「講」字

James 2:14-26 Faith and Deeds

Both Terence and Michelle claimed that it's difficult to understand these scriptures. I think it might because it relates to some old testament stories. After my explanation, they came to better undersanding.

Terence said, " No lips service unless you put them in action."

"Can you quote an example?" Bonnie asked.

"I have been given by Dad a target score list of my GCE "O" Level examination. If I don't put them in action, my target will be a dead one."

"Well said. Did you put them in deeds?"

"Not really."

"I hope this scripture reminds you."

2:26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

子女成人(仁)

今天Turner用了腓立比書第一章1-11節作講道，我發現其中有一節經文正好是我一向教導子女的信念及目標。

1:10 使你們能分別是非，作誠實無過的人，
........結滿了仁義的果了.........。

果子: 仁愛、喜樂、 和平、 忍耐、 恩慈、 良善、 信實、 温柔、 節制。加拉太書5:22-23

這已經很足夠了。

我謹此勸告各位父母，不要再追逐於單純知識的競技場上。它會使你的子女成為a replacable human。因為他/她毫無個人特色，正如Human Resouces 常用術語 replacment，有人離職，随時可以被別人替代。Sad! 看清楚，是作為父母的你把他們從小便放入這殘忍的replacable競技場上。為何不給他們多一些空間去認識自己及神給他/她的恩賜、給他們多一些空間去建立珍貴的「親子關係」和「與神的關係」。

找到聖經，找到智慧。
找到一間好教会，比考入Band One學校更有福氣。
父母們呀! Still Your Hearts, Stop Your Wars.
不要本物倒轉，否則，難怪你無時間享受你的子女。
他們天真、好奇、活潑、可愛、富創意、有動力.......our future leaders.

理清給與力量和決定

Terence asked me, "Why Jing Hung's Dad and Mom (BoBo) stop going to church?"

" I do not know about this. Where did you learn of it?"

"Peter told me when I visited his home yesterday. They are living in the same Police Quarter in Chai Wan. Peter said Jing Hung's Dad and Mom have some conflicts with church so they stop going to church. I thought they are very faithful christians and why ends up like this?"

"God always gives us free choice. Don't you remember Satun is always around us to tempt us. There could be many unforeseen traps through out our life even after we become a christian. By the way, how is your thought about going to teens."

Terence waved his head without any reply.

Bonnie continued, " Are you a christian now?"

"No."

"Right, you are not a christian now and there is always God's mercy to give you free choice to become a christian at your right time . Even I'm your mom, I am not in position to force you to become a christian only at my wish. It is your decision to love God and accept his grace on you. As a mom and a christian, I introduce to you what I feel most precious from God . By the way during the past 5 years in pre-teens, what do you enjoy the most?"

"Friendship."

"Who are your best friends?"

"Before was Steven. Now is Joshua and Peter."

"Anything more other than friendship?"

"A little bit of truth."

"Does it work in your life?"

"Yes. By the way, what is next after teens?"

"Campus."

"What is after Campus?"

"Single as an adult."

"Would it be OK even when I am an adult I still not a christian?"

"That is your choice."

Terence getting more open to talk on this subject and said, "After I go to teens, they will keep on asking me to study bible which I will feel most uncomfortable."

"Well, may be they will ask because they would like to know what you are thinking. You could honestly tell them where you are."

"True?" opened big his eyes.

"There'll be nobody force to study bible unless it is your own choice and decision. People around you are just try to help you."

"Well, then I will continue go to church."

"I think soon Uncle Lai will introduce to you what is teen's ministry and you could take the opportunity to ask him more about any of your queries."

審判與判斷(定斷)

James 2:1-13

I had QT with Terence only because Michelle went to school.

We both attracted by the word of "Judgment" and "Favoritism".

"Are you a judgmental person?" Bonnie asked Terence.

"No, I'm often not."

"I feel when we meet an unknown person for the first sight, it is very common that a kind of impression about that person will pop up in our mind. I see that as an impression more than judgmental. How about you?"

"If you expand that impression in to a further thoughts or engage in a conversation with someone with elaboration, it will easily become judgmental."

Bonnie curious to ask," Does judgment relate to something negative only? If I talk with my friend about an impression on a person with praises, will there be an appreciation than a judgment?"

"Could be."

"In v2:8 mentioned Love your neihgbore as yourself, it's not easy to do it everytime." Bonnie bear in mind about one of her friends and said.

"Why?" Terence asked.

Bonnie was surprised to hearing a question posted by Terence. "Well, sometimes our neighbore not necessary treat us well. When I felt hurt or being taken the advantage, I may judge my neighbore."

"Are we not talking at the situation we meet with an unknown person?"

"Sorry, I've gone too far." Bonnie still bear her friend in mind and felt out of the topic with Terence.

In this QT, Bonnie felt Terence has helped instead.

由服從轉化至(被)尊重

Terence flew on his own from Hong Kong to Vancouver when he was eight years old. He succeed in this trip for his strong desire in going back to Vancouver where he spent his most playful toddler to school child age. Afterwards, he told me that he was not really afriad of flying alone but the long flying hours was almost like a life long jouney - testing his patience and sense of security.

Terence was trained to ride on mini-bus and public bus on his own when he was 10 years old. On the first trial day, I saw him off at the Braemar Hill Terminal. He rode on bus 25 and Ben was already waiting for his get off at the Cloud View Road stop. Though there was only 4 stops in between - not a big deal, Terence gained his confidence to stand alone for the first time. Getting on a bus was not a problem with him but he was stuck on when to get off. He easily fell asleep when he rides on a bus (even today) and very very often he missed the stop until the bus reached the terminal. Well, he has to get off and ride on another bus to come home. I remember when he was 11, once it took him 3 hours to come home from Wanchai. He missed to get off the bus at Tien Hau to change for min-bus twice so he rode from Wanchai --> North Point --> Wanchai --> Tien Hau (then mini bus to reach home).

I learned how to "LET GO" when he was ten. I tend to let him depart from me and I just stay beside him at a distance. This distance has been extending as his age adds on. Now he is 15, he can go out completely on his own and able to find way to back home. He has his own schedule with his school friends and church friends. Some rules between us are (1) he must home for dinner not later than 7:30pm, (2) he must call me when he changes his schedule. He did well and always calls me when his way home from Causeway Bay, North Point or Taikooshing.

These few months, I feel it's time to transcedent from LET GO to TOTAL RESPECT.

Let go is a period to let him exercise his independent thinking and decision making. Yet, the ultimate decision is still on my hand. In short, Terence is still obey to his parents in a gentleman way (parents also exercise their discipline in a gentleman way) .

These days, I found that he has established his life value and that value wants a right to exercise freely as an individual. Great! Now is the time for me to learn how to respect a young adult. To me respect my own child requires lot of trust. I have to trust he is growing to be an adult, a leader for future. It's a life process that he must experience in order to be mature. Success and Failure are part of the growth. I see respect also involves lot of acceptance. I accept Terence as he is. I should not see him from a standard person point of view to fortfeite his uniqueness.

What I believe is:

To master knowledge and skill makes you a capable person.

To have passion with what you really like to do makes you a unique person.

Though now he is facing a challenge of going to teens or not. It's his decision. I'm happy that after a talk with Elaine and Pandora, I see Terence is a non-Christain. It's a time for a non-Christain young adult to experience his own life and understand the salvation through knocking his own door.

Humility comes before honor. Proverb 15:33

I have to humbly learning what God's teaching to me in this incident.

行為の實踐

James 1:19-27

This week's QT was delayed to Sunday afternoon due to Bonnie has to depart for Shenzhen on Saturday at 7:00am. Yet, we all committed.

Michelle: "I picked v19 quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. These days I'm easy to get angry for some small stuffs and roared "UUH...." From now onwards, I could remind myself: Why I'm angry? For what I'm angry with? By putting a little thoughts on those questions, I may cool down my anger."

Terence: "I have chosen v21 do not merely listen to the words, and to deceive yourselves. Do what it says. I would like to commit myself in continueing the QT."

Bonnie curiously asked, " what do you mean by continue, say for how long?"

Terence replied, "as long as it goes on." - shifted the responsibility to Bonnie.

Without putting any negative thought on Terence's response, Bonnie continued her sharing, "I like v27 to keep oneself from being pulluted by the world. The pure heart is light."

By taking the rest of the time, Bonnie suggested to set a goal for the upcoming Summer Holiday. Terence replied instantly, "I would like to complete my CD production. Though Kenji and Keein both will be away from HK in a different schedule, I strongly believe that we still can get it done because Keein has purchased a powerful MAC program. I have agreed with Victor that he can take most of the songs we composed for his band and I only take one for my band. I have another new song ready with me now. Well, I need to newly compose about 6 songs during the Summer Holiday."

"Are you going to spend some time on your sports because you need that for your body growth?" Bonnie asked.

"Mom, these days I lost my interest in Basketball. I don't feel enthusiastic when I played at the Braemar Hill Park yesterday."

"Don't you feel a balanced Summer Holiday benefits you all aroundedly?"

"I will put thoughts on this."

"How about your goal, Michelle?"

Michelle said, "Do my homework."

"I don't think that will occupy all your Summer Holiday, right. Yet, you need some fun time."

Terence added, "You better develope something as your hobby cum strength."

"Mom, I need more time to think of."

"Yes, take your time and make up a fun goal to enjoy."

In fact, after the Church, I have talked with Bal about schedule for our teens. Originally, I would like to take Terence and Michelle to join Hope's English Teaching Program at CheungKaKai. Benjamin did not agree due to his concern on our safety at the undeveloped place in China. Michelle felt disappointed as she was excited about being an English teacher for children in China. Terence did not show interest in this idea.

I told Bal that Terence has shown his resistance in joining the Teens Ministry. Bal encouraged me that there might be something I have to work on Terence and Myself. He expressed that Genesis did not express any of his thought about going to church. He rather conerns how to to help his kid to build friendship with church peers. Bal expressed that he likes to see Genesis can get along with Terence who is considered as easy going. He will try to arrange something for the teens during the Summer holiday. I'm happy that Bal always communicates with me about how we as christian parents can let our teens to building up closer friendship.

I bought Terence and Michelle some ice-cream when my way home. I and Terence had another quick touch on the conversation about teens ministry.

"Mom, one pre-teen also expressed to me that he has no interest for the teens ministry. Hey, don't talk to anyone about this. He said if his mon knows, she will kill him."

"Don't you think all these thoughts come out because you do not have a clear picture about what is the teens ministry and doubts creates fear?"

"Mom, I told him that you won't kill me, will you?"

引誘與試探

Jame 1: 9-19

"Mom, QT this morning." while I was still in bed at 7:30am, Terence came in to my room and waked me up. Woow! what a surprise but encouraging wake up call, in particular it's from the mouth of Terence. After half an hour of morning self-caring, we began QT at the living room. Today the sky is the brightest after a week of stormy rain. I did not require reading glass to read the Bible words.

We began with a short recap on last week's learning and how well we've practiced them in our daily life. Terence said he began to pray everyday before bed. When I asked him what did he pray for, he said for a better sleep. I, then, reminded him that he has made decision to pray for wisdom. It sounded that he has forgot the theme. Michelle has nothing to share.

Terence began the sharing with v9-10.

"For v9 -The brother in humble circusmstances ought to take pride in his high position. I want to tell you how I'm practicing and experiencing this verse. When I walked in to Trever's band room, I did not boost how good is my band. Though they are comparatively weak in average, I would rather be hunber and tell them what makes my band being good in some areas. This works."

"How do you look at v10 about the rich?" I asked.

"Money creates competition. From there, boosting will take place to create conflicts."

Michelle shared v12-15.

"Before reading this verse, I though temptation comes from outside. However v14 tells me that "......each one is tempted when, by his own desire.". Now I came to understand it is because of myself."

"What tempt you the most?"

"Object."

"How would you like to do about this temptation issue?"

"Don't spend money on Objects!" Terence suggested.

"Well, I think I have to control myself, my desire." Michelle said quite determinely.

Bonnie shared v12.

"I have recognized that in order to be blessed, I have to be strong enough to accept trials - To stand the test instead of being fear and escape."

Michelle said, "I like the phase of TO STAND THE TEST."

"Well, how shall we commite ourself in these learnings?"

Terence: to keep on praying everyday for God's wisdom.
Michelle: to be able to stand the test.
Bonnie: to love God 1 step more.

The time control for aorund 15 mins was good and they still could concentrate and response clearly.