由服從轉化至(被)尊重

Terence flew on his own from Hong Kong to Vancouver when he was eight years old. He succeed in this trip for his strong desire in going back to Vancouver where he spent his most playful toddler to school child age. Afterwards, he told me that he was not really afriad of flying alone but the long flying hours was almost like a life long jouney - testing his patience and sense of security.

Terence was trained to ride on mini-bus and public bus on his own when he was 10 years old. On the first trial day, I saw him off at the Braemar Hill Terminal. He rode on bus 25 and Ben was already waiting for his get off at the Cloud View Road stop. Though there was only 4 stops in between - not a big deal, Terence gained his confidence to stand alone for the first time. Getting on a bus was not a problem with him but he was stuck on when to get off. He easily fell asleep when he rides on a bus (even today) and very very often he missed the stop until the bus reached the terminal. Well, he has to get off and ride on another bus to come home. I remember when he was 11, once it took him 3 hours to come home from Wanchai. He missed to get off the bus at Tien Hau to change for min-bus twice so he rode from Wanchai --> North Point --> Wanchai --> Tien Hau (then mini bus to reach home).

I learned how to "LET GO" when he was ten. I tend to let him depart from me and I just stay beside him at a distance. This distance has been extending as his age adds on. Now he is 15, he can go out completely on his own and able to find way to back home. He has his own schedule with his school friends and church friends. Some rules between us are (1) he must home for dinner not later than 7:30pm, (2) he must call me when he changes his schedule. He did well and always calls me when his way home from Causeway Bay, North Point or Taikooshing.

These few months, I feel it's time to transcedent from LET GO to TOTAL RESPECT.

Let go is a period to let him exercise his independent thinking and decision making. Yet, the ultimate decision is still on my hand. In short, Terence is still obey to his parents in a gentleman way (parents also exercise their discipline in a gentleman way) .

These days, I found that he has established his life value and that value wants a right to exercise freely as an individual. Great! Now is the time for me to learn how to respect a young adult. To me respect my own child requires lot of trust. I have to trust he is growing to be an adult, a leader for future. It's a life process that he must experience in order to be mature. Success and Failure are part of the growth. I see respect also involves lot of acceptance. I accept Terence as he is. I should not see him from a standard person point of view to fortfeite his uniqueness.

What I believe is:

To master knowledge and skill makes you a capable person.

To have passion with what you really like to do makes you a unique person.

Though now he is facing a challenge of going to teens or not. It's his decision. I'm happy that after a talk with Elaine and Pandora, I see Terence is a non-Christain. It's a time for a non-Christain young adult to experience his own life and understand the salvation through knocking his own door.

Humility comes before honor. Proverb 15:33

I have to humbly learning what God's teaching to me in this incident.