歉卑、信實及犧牲

• Courageous to be Humble
• Courageous to be Faith (in Standard; all the time)
• Courageous to be Lost

由心至舌頭

James 3:1-12

We started today's QT by reviewing last week's conviction of "Put faith into action". Michelle said she has begun her Maths homework. She is happy that the first step in ACTION promotes her PERSERVERANCE which she has learnt in James Chapter one. Terence has completed one new song which makes a total of 3 out of his targetted 6 songs for this summer holiday. They both commented that put faith in action brings them a sense of success and fulfillment.

Michelle shared v3:6, " If the tongue is the evil part of the body, I don't want to use it to hurt people. Instead, I want to use it to say something could ENCOURAGE and APPRECIATE others. Moreover, to think before I speak could help a lot."

Terence likes v3:10, " Prasie and curse cannot come from the same tongue. If I have to choose, of course I will chose to praise."

"It's not necessary everybody will choose praise. That reflects you like to embrace praise."Bonnie added.

Bonnie found Terence is a silent boy and like to encourage him to say more praise out from his heart. After some discussion, we found Terence is lacking of FAITH in himself. His holding back attitude always leads him not to move forward. Bonnie tried to connect his successful confidence in playing guitar to use his tongue in praises.

"Terence, how many songs you have targetted to compose during the summer holiday?"

He put up a finger sign of "6"

"How do you like the progress?" Bonnie asked.

"My freinds are of out town so it seems difficult to complete."

"Well, when you set your target, do you have a feeling that you can complete them?"

"Yes, I do."

"Good, close your eyes. Retrieve that feeling and feel it again."

Terence was naughtily playing his eyes as an open eyed blind man. He was cute.

"How many songs you have completed up to today?"

"3" he continued closing his eyes.

"Great, at least you have completed 3 songs without your friends around you. Don't you think your faith to your goal motivates you by itself?"

We all agreed 3 songs have achieved 50% of the target. Well Done!

The above exercise was done to encourage Terence could expand his successful story in music to other aspects of his life.

We all enjoyed today's QT..........................

"Mom, I want to do something for your research, like producing power point for topics that you are working with." Terence held me from releasing the QT. "I want to work for you for some pocket money."

"Well, I remember you did a wonderful power point for me 2 years ago about "The possible mission". I have just finished co-authoring a book about ParentCoach. I still like to look deeper in to lives about being a woman, elderlies and teenagers. How about doing a power point for me about what do teenagers like to talk about, work on and why."

"How much you will pay for my work this time?" Terence felt most interest to know the amount.

"HK$50 for 15 slides"

"Can you give a bit more?"

"Negotiation begins, right?"

"OK, let's make it at HK$70."

"a deal"

"When will you finish?"

"This afternoon."

"Are you sure? so quick!"

Terence immediate went into his room and started the work. After 15 minutes, he called me again.

"Mom, I have finished the cover. Please come and see whether this is what you want?"

I went to his room and found he was using very interesting background for the power point slide. I like it and said, "Good start, keep it up."

On the other hand, Michelle was working very hard in drawing some cartoon girl faces. I gave her an assignment to draw 2 girl faces by distinguishing theirs emotions with their eyes; one is smiling and the other is crying. She did well. I wonder how could she just using few different lines and shades to get it done.

唔好得個「講」字

James 2:14-26 Faith and Deeds

Both Terence and Michelle claimed that it's difficult to understand these scriptures. I think it might because it relates to some old testament stories. After my explanation, they came to better undersanding.

Terence said, " No lips service unless you put them in action."

"Can you quote an example?" Bonnie asked.

"I have been given by Dad a target score list of my GCE "O" Level examination. If I don't put them in action, my target will be a dead one."

"Well said. Did you put them in deeds?"

"Not really."

"I hope this scripture reminds you."

2:26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

子女成人(仁)

今天Turner用了腓立比書第一章1-11節作講道，我發現其中有一節經文正好是我一向教導子女的信念及目標。

1:10 使你們能分別是非，作誠實無過的人，
........結滿了仁義的果了.........。

果子: 仁愛、喜樂、 和平、 忍耐、 恩慈、 良善、 信實、 温柔、 節制。加拉太書5:22-23

這已經很足夠了。

我謹此勸告各位父母，不要再追逐於單純知識的競技場上。它會使你的子女成為a replacable human。因為他/她毫無個人特色，正如Human Resouces 常用術語 replacment，有人離職，随時可以被別人替代。Sad! 看清楚，是作為父母的你把他們從小便放入這殘忍的replacable競技場上。為何不給他們多一些空間去認識自己及神給他/她的恩賜、給他們多一些空間去建立珍貴的「親子關係」和「與神的關係」。

找到聖經，找到智慧。
找到一間好教会，比考入Band One學校更有福氣。
父母們呀! Still Your Hearts, Stop Your Wars.
不要本物倒轉，否則，難怪你無時間享受你的子女。
他們天真、好奇、活潑、可愛、富創意、有動力.......our future leaders.

理清給與力量和決定

Terence asked me, "Why Jing Hung's Dad and Mom (BoBo) stop going to church?"

" I do not know about this. Where did you learn of it?"

"Peter told me when I visited his home yesterday. They are living in the same Police Quarter in Chai Wan. Peter said Jing Hung's Dad and Mom have some conflicts with church so they stop going to church. I thought they are very faithful christians and why ends up like this?"

"God always gives us free choice. Don't you remember Satun is always around us to tempt us. There could be many unforeseen traps through out our life even after we become a christian. By the way, how is your thought about going to teens."

Terence waved his head without any reply.

Bonnie continued, " Are you a christian now?"

"No."

"Right, you are not a christian now and there is always God's mercy to give you free choice to become a christian at your right time . Even I'm your mom, I am not in position to force you to become a christian only at my wish. It is your decision to love God and accept his grace on you. As a mom and a christian, I introduce to you what I feel most precious from God . By the way during the past 5 years in pre-teens, what do you enjoy the most?"

"Friendship."

"Who are your best friends?"

"Before was Steven. Now is Joshua and Peter."

"Anything more other than friendship?"

"A little bit of truth."

"Does it work in your life?"

"Yes. By the way, what is next after teens?"

"Campus."

"What is after Campus?"

"Single as an adult."

"Would it be OK even when I am an adult I still not a christian?"

"That is your choice."

Terence getting more open to talk on this subject and said, "After I go to teens, they will keep on asking me to study bible which I will feel most uncomfortable."

"Well, may be they will ask because they would like to know what you are thinking. You could honestly tell them where you are."

"True?" opened big his eyes.

"There'll be nobody force to study bible unless it is your own choice and decision. People around you are just try to help you."

"Well, then I will continue go to church."

"I think soon Uncle Lai will introduce to you what is teen's ministry and you could take the opportunity to ask him more about any of your queries."

審判與判斷(定斷)

James 2:1-13

I had QT with Terence only because Michelle went to school.

We both attracted by the word of "Judgment" and "Favoritism".

"Are you a judgmental person?" Bonnie asked Terence.

"No, I'm often not."

"I feel when we meet an unknown person for the first sight, it is very common that a kind of impression about that person will pop up in our mind. I see that as an impression more than judgmental. How about you?"

"If you expand that impression in to a further thoughts or engage in a conversation with someone with elaboration, it will easily become judgmental."

Bonnie curious to ask," Does judgment relate to something negative only? If I talk with my friend about an impression on a person with praises, will there be an appreciation than a judgment?"

"Could be."

"In v2:8 mentioned Love your neihgbore as yourself, it's not easy to do it everytime." Bonnie bear in mind about one of her friends and said.

"Why?" Terence asked.

Bonnie was surprised to hearing a question posted by Terence. "Well, sometimes our neighbore not necessary treat us well. When I felt hurt or being taken the advantage, I may judge my neighbore."

"Are we not talking at the situation we meet with an unknown person?"

"Sorry, I've gone too far." Bonnie still bear her friend in mind and felt out of the topic with Terence.

In this QT, Bonnie felt Terence has helped instead.

由服從轉化至(被)尊重

Terence flew on his own from Hong Kong to Vancouver when he was eight years old. He succeed in this trip for his strong desire in going back to Vancouver where he spent his most playful toddler to school child age. Afterwards, he told me that he was not really afriad of flying alone but the long flying hours was almost like a life long jouney - testing his patience and sense of security.

Terence was trained to ride on mini-bus and public bus on his own when he was 10 years old. On the first trial day, I saw him off at the Braemar Hill Terminal. He rode on bus 25 and Ben was already waiting for his get off at the Cloud View Road stop. Though there was only 4 stops in between - not a big deal, Terence gained his confidence to stand alone for the first time. Getting on a bus was not a problem with him but he was stuck on when to get off. He easily fell asleep when he rides on a bus (even today) and very very often he missed the stop until the bus reached the terminal. Well, he has to get off and ride on another bus to come home. I remember when he was 11, once it took him 3 hours to come home from Wanchai. He missed to get off the bus at Tien Hau to change for min-bus twice so he rode from Wanchai --> North Point --> Wanchai --> Tien Hau (then mini bus to reach home).

I learned how to "LET GO" when he was ten. I tend to let him depart from me and I just stay beside him at a distance. This distance has been extending as his age adds on. Now he is 15, he can go out completely on his own and able to find way to back home. He has his own schedule with his school friends and church friends. Some rules between us are (1) he must home for dinner not later than 7:30pm, (2) he must call me when he changes his schedule. He did well and always calls me when his way home from Causeway Bay, North Point or Taikooshing.

These few months, I feel it's time to transcedent from LET GO to TOTAL RESPECT.

Let go is a period to let him exercise his independent thinking and decision making. Yet, the ultimate decision is still on my hand. In short, Terence is still obey to his parents in a gentleman way (parents also exercise their discipline in a gentleman way) .

These days, I found that he has established his life value and that value wants a right to exercise freely as an individual. Great! Now is the time for me to learn how to respect a young adult. To me respect my own child requires lot of trust. I have to trust he is growing to be an adult, a leader for future. It's a life process that he must experience in order to be mature. Success and Failure are part of the growth. I see respect also involves lot of acceptance. I accept Terence as he is. I should not see him from a standard person point of view to fortfeite his uniqueness.

What I believe is:

To master knowledge and skill makes you a capable person.

To have passion with what you really like to do makes you a unique person.

Though now he is facing a challenge of going to teens or not. It's his decision. I'm happy that after a talk with Elaine and Pandora, I see Terence is a non-Christain. It's a time for a non-Christain young adult to experience his own life and understand the salvation through knocking his own door.

Humility comes before honor. Proverb 15:33

I have to humbly learning what God's teaching to me in this incident.

行為の實踐

James 1:19-27

This week's QT was delayed to Sunday afternoon due to Bonnie has to depart for Shenzhen on Saturday at 7:00am. Yet, we all committed.

Michelle: "I picked v19 quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. These days I'm easy to get angry for some small stuffs and roared "UUH...." From now onwards, I could remind myself: Why I'm angry? For what I'm angry with? By putting a little thoughts on those questions, I may cool down my anger."

Terence: "I have chosen v21 do not merely listen to the words, and to deceive yourselves. Do what it says. I would like to commit myself in continueing the QT."

Bonnie curiously asked, " what do you mean by continue, say for how long?"

Terence replied, "as long as it goes on." - shifted the responsibility to Bonnie.

Without putting any negative thought on Terence's response, Bonnie continued her sharing, "I like v27 to keep oneself from being pulluted by the world. The pure heart is light."

By taking the rest of the time, Bonnie suggested to set a goal for the upcoming Summer Holiday. Terence replied instantly, "I would like to complete my CD production. Though Kenji and Keein both will be away from HK in a different schedule, I strongly believe that we still can get it done because Keein has purchased a powerful MAC program. I have agreed with Victor that he can take most of the songs we composed for his band and I only take one for my band. I have another new song ready with me now. Well, I need to newly compose about 6 songs during the Summer Holiday."

"Are you going to spend some time on your sports because you need that for your body growth?" Bonnie asked.

"Mom, these days I lost my interest in Basketball. I don't feel enthusiastic when I played at the Braemar Hill Park yesterday."

"Don't you feel a balanced Summer Holiday benefits you all aroundedly?"

"I will put thoughts on this."

"How about your goal, Michelle?"

Michelle said, "Do my homework."

"I don't think that will occupy all your Summer Holiday, right. Yet, you need some fun time."

Terence added, "You better develope something as your hobby cum strength."

"Mom, I need more time to think of."

"Yes, take your time and make up a fun goal to enjoy."

In fact, after the Church, I have talked with Bal about schedule for our teens. Originally, I would like to take Terence and Michelle to join Hope's English Teaching Program at CheungKaKai. Benjamin did not agree due to his concern on our safety at the undeveloped place in China. Michelle felt disappointed as she was excited about being an English teacher for children in China. Terence did not show interest in this idea.

I told Bal that Terence has shown his resistance in joining the Teens Ministry. Bal encouraged me that there might be something I have to work on Terence and Myself. He expressed that Genesis did not express any of his thought about going to church. He rather conerns how to to help his kid to build friendship with church peers. Bal expressed that he likes to see Genesis can get along with Terence who is considered as easy going. He will try to arrange something for the teens during the Summer holiday. I'm happy that Bal always communicates with me about how we as christian parents can let our teens to building up closer friendship.

I bought Terence and Michelle some ice-cream when my way home. I and Terence had another quick touch on the conversation about teens ministry.

"Mom, one pre-teen also expressed to me that he has no interest for the teens ministry. Hey, don't talk to anyone about this. He said if his mon knows, she will kill him."

"Don't you think all these thoughts come out because you do not have a clear picture about what is the teens ministry and doubts creates fear?"

"Mom, I told him that you won't kill me, will you?"