Terence's first full meal serving

While Wait, our domestic helping has been working for us for 12 years is planning to depart for a new job, Terence initiated that we should not employ a new maid. Instead, he will responsible for cooking dinner. Then, he started learning the "Tomato with fried egg" - very good.

Today, he even made a full meal for us. We had:

• fried rice with shallot, union, carrot and susage. just nice and perfect.
• tofu blended with pineapple as dessert. right natural sweety.

I really appreciate his effort. Moreover, he sounds could be a good chef - cooking with soul and heart.

Wati to depart

Two years ago I have been thinking about the future of Wati, my domestic helper. Sooner or later, Terence and Michelle will become university students that they may go aboard or staying in the university dormitary or else then we do not need live-in helper anymore. Wati expressed that she will stay with us until that really happened.

In 2008, Ben and I discussed and want to down-size our apartment for biulding reserve for the fture education for Terence and Michelle. We decided to change to a small apartment from 1025 to 890 sq.ft. within the same community. Then, we will not have a private maid's bedroom for Wati. When we discuss this with Wati, she likes to reserve her privacy and decided not to continue contract with us.

It is interesting to observe what is going to happen after this situation appears:

• Michelle cried with little blaming on her parents for why changing for a small apartment.
• Terence immediate responded that he is willing to give up his own bedroom for Wati to use and he can simply sleep at the living room or anywhere.
• I let myself to see clearer and feel deeper on do I really need a live-in maid.
• Ben leaves to my decision.

After a month has gone and Wati was able to find her next good employer:

• Terence said it will be an awkard feeling for him to have another unknown person to live wiht us. He would like to have a part-time maid helping me for the cleaning and then he will contribute time for cooking dinner for the family. He said that it is also a good training for me.

I am very happy to see the grown up of our children that they are willing to support the family.

Game and Life

Terence is going to his 18th birthday in next month. What does it mean to him?

I recall when Terence was 10 years old, he was passionately playing with the "Three Kingdom三國演義" TV game, he told me that whoever the game character he choose to be (曹操 or 劉備 or 孫權), his counter player is the computer (he means the rule designed within the game). What a great insight.

He also told me that it does not mean powerful if you keep on fighting in war. What the most important is to building up your balanced self (keep them for yourself both mentally and ohysically), choose a good advisor (諸葛亮)，train your soldiers, purchase good weapon, ready enough foodstuff when war fighting and make fair renumeration to your solders etc...... What a balanced insight.

Even upto today I feel Terence's insight is amazing. Today when Ben told me about implementing an computer game on how to manage a company in his work, I told Ben that as Terence said, the clue is not focusing on what ranking you are now among the 8 players. Instead, you should focus to play with the game designer.

This converstion helped me to think further that we should not see where we are positioning in the worldly society because it will only gives you illusion, pressure and unhealthy competitive thoughts. Instead, I would rather focus my life on how to co-work with God because he created us as the game designer created the game. He knows the game the best.

Email about my daughter

Dear All,

Today Michelle, age 14 and 11 months, my daughter (turns Form 4 in Sep) said to me, “If I want to study Bible, who can help me? I think Auntie Connie is good but she is too busy, so as Rene, she is very very busy. Mom, what should I do?”

Isn’t it a good news?!

Of course, I have reminded her about her spiritual life at the beginning of the year and asked whether she wants to become a disciple but it was never at her own initiative.

Why? I think she observed something in our recent BT’s 2 generations retreat in Jul 20-22 at Zhong Shan where 6 pairs of Mother and daughter joined (Doris and Clara, Iris and Merry, Bonnie and Michelle, Sachiko and Miko, Lucy and Elsie and one non-X pair Stella and Ginny). Moreover, Justine age 15, daughter of disciple Jane in Vancouver is visiting HK after her teens camp in Seattle where she was inspired to seriously considering in seeking God may have some deep talk between the two girls.

Recently Michelle’s close peers in church are Miko and Asiana (Steve and Jane’s daughter).

I suggested her to pray and be faithful to seeing who is her angel sent by God.

I don’t know how to help my daughter further as she likely prefers to join the teens group than my MK group. I remain excited about her blessed opportunity and would seek for advice herewith.

Cheers, bonnie

I asked these questions.

Today I had a good fellowship with Ah Lun who came to my home for a little design job I request for his help. While we were enjoying the lunch together, I asked these questions:

1. Did you get right resouces from church to help you in the teens ministry? Is it only a matter of number of workers or else? asked but waiting
2. Do the observer-teens (Terence, Joushua, Peter, Genesis, Miko and Michelle from the Kids Kingdom) who are attending the church but without attaching to any Bible Talk and having immediate initiative to study bible considered as the family member of this church? Or are they just one of the visitors? a striking question
3. If you need help in contributing yourself better in the teens ministry, what do you need? - a direction

I came to recognize that when leader change, the direction and the approaching format may also change which creates disconnection and inconsistency to workers and the members.

I came to aware that If the parents, the helpers, the leaders are not fully enjoying the church relationship, how could we inspire our children to become a disciple.

I came to notice that if a ministry helper is not being inspired in his serving, how could he inspires the teens. Less business creates more spiritual focus.

Change Doing to Being.........please

Son, thanks for telling me.

“Mom, I was bombarded with Bible in today’s lunch.” Terence told me after he had lunch with a group of good helpers in the teens ministry. Michelle and Miko were there as well but have enjoyed very much the fellowship with Eva and other girls, including Ha Yu.

“Why it is a problem to you?” I asked.

“Talking about Bible or asking whether I want to study Bible is OK for once a while but not in every lunch.”

“Are they helping you to clarify some points instead of bombard you? Or does it reflect there is a fear within you?”

“This is also what they told me that may be I take the matter too seriously. Just be open and give myself a start may help.” Terence continued, “I know what they mean except I don’t want to lie to myself that I don’t have such motivation now.”

“Does it mean the teens from outside who never attended the church (say Kids Kingdom) are making a wrong choice to become a disciple?” I am curious to know what is underlying Terence’s perception in this matter.

“No, I do not mean that. Since they have never encountered church or Bible before, it is a life change for them, something good for them. However, being in church for too long time, I cannot see the change for me.”

Terence’s statement opened up my eyes in perceiving why our teens are stuck. They might feel they know well already, or they are so used to the format of operations and theory. Thus, a fresh and striking conviction is covered by the so called “I know” knowledge and routine behavior.

I think Terence is right that as I see the same thing in mature disciples. Here are the points that we could explore deeper:

WHY: Is it a matter of prideful-ness that when we are so familiar with something. We lose the sense of excitement and curiosity? Is God’s wisdom so limited? Or are we not creative enough to learn from God? Are we not well utilizing God’s imprinted creativeness within us when he created us?

WHAT is the clue: Will there be any catalyst to break the ice? Encouragement? Challenge? Leadership? Inspiration? Modeling?........What kind of environment helps triggering or building their positive desire in searching God?

“Terence, how could I help you?” I asked.

“Nothing!”

“Am I doing what I am doing now is helpful to you in searching God?”

“Yes.”

I have aware that there is nothing I could help him but himself. Yes, God does not want me to solely DO something to help transforming my son to be a disciple. I do not have such power. This is God’s graceful will and he is always well taking care of it in his timing with Terence. Am I having FAITH of this to be happened? It sounds that the most important clue in how I co-work with God. If I do not have such faith, how could my son feels I am a faithful disciple? Then, he will never follow something that I am not for sure.

HOW : Give them a sense of belongings; Give them a role to play in realizing their self-identity and spiritual responsibility; Give them a sense of pride of being God’s children; From there to confirm their identification and importance as part of the body and in Christ; Reinforce their beings are important to their and others’ lives; Identify how they could contribute and make the kingdom Kodash…………

Helping Young Adults to seeking God 3

I come to examine what are the obstacles of our children to understanding the TRUTH that we are the children of God.

If I am the children of God, there should be a way of connection somewhere. I asked myself where I firstly got that connection and so far what has been hiddered me in awaring their existence.

Something invisible and spiritual requires a high level of understanding to be aware. A quiet mind and heart is vital in getting to sense that wisdom of Understanding of God. What kind of life are we leading our children to walking through, a spiritual life or a material life. It is so true that the material world of our physical life is being very dominant in the visible environment. Moreover they sound more attractive to the physical body as a temptation towards our desires that Satan is masterful in reviewing those to us.

Are we too demaning to our children in their understanding of such a big wisdom in their early age of teenages? Are this awareness could be taught by the parents or else? If yes, what is the clue? If no, what is that else? I come to aware that it links me to the second core :
明白創造者與被造者的位分 (the wisdom to understand where the source of power is - Fear of God.) A parent's role is to guide them to tape in to this eternity power for survival from spiritual death and moreover to dwell in GRACE.

It's a matter of submissiveness. Are we submissive to God's power and plan on to our children? Are we doing in our way? Prayer sounds a source of submissive searching. There is possible someone could find God earlier than the others and that is the uniqueness of God's plan on different individual.

What will be the consequence if we are pushing our desires on to our children. Possibly rebellious?????? and giving them a wrong impression of who God is. Love could not be educated by words but by it's a natural feeling that people have the innate to sense there is or not.

Are we parents a good role model of unconditional love? It's not a matter of time to become disciple at when. It's a matter of are we taping our children in to a loving environment and let them search their personal love between they and God.

We could ask ourselves, what kind of environment should be prepared for our children?

I will agree to provide a Bible Talk for our group of children as a seraching God platform for them to play their show. We should also be very clear to understand that don't let the human system to bind our creativitity in working for God's Mercy on our children and us because:

God's power is unlimited. If one cannot sense this truth, that is only because one is limiting oneself to understanding the truth.

Helping Young adults to seeking God 2

1. 確認及接納自己是神兒女的身分 (the TRUTH of knowing who we are and where we would become - a natural law.) A parent's role is to evidencing their lives in TRUTH.
2. 明白創造者與被造者的位分 (the source to understand where the power is - Fear of God.) A parent's role is to guide them to tape in to this eternity power for survival from spiritual death and dwell in GRACE.
3. 探索恩典與祈求的道路 (the way to understand the core value, purpose and meaning of life.) A parent's role is to help clarify, discover, aware and walk the talk.

A parent may start to ask "Who we are?" to explore the different levels of understanding of our children's veiws towards their own lives. We may also use ourselves as an evidence of "Who we were, Who we are and Who we would like to become." to examine our lives evidence in this issue.

When digging the issue deeper and wider, parents and children may come to understand our smallness and aware there is a Greatness. Then, let's go further to look into What and Where is the Greatness, and How could we get connected with Greatness.

Once the Core of Truth is defined, the track to orient it appears clearer and clearer. When the vision is clear, our children know how to walk through their lives effortlessly on their own feet.

Helping Young adults to seeking God 1

I had led below BT and now I would like to use the same conviction to examine how I could help my children in seeking God. I found the 我的尋找 is so true. It is still the key points apply to young adults. However, I may need more appropriate scriptures for their unique situations and needs.

1. 探索恩典與祈求的道路 (the way to understand the core value, purpose and meaning of life.) A parent's role is to help clarify, discover, aware and walk the talk.

WHY GRACE is important to young adults?

• GRACE is important to everybody. For young adults, they may need GRACE on their growth to become an adult, an adult that they find their own uniqueness and roles to play in the world during their short lives.

WHAT are the young adults looking for?

• They may looking for the value, purpose and meaning of their lives, in which they could accomplish a fulfilled lives with loving relationship.

WHAT would help them to begin the searching road for TRUTH?

• A loving and attractive relationship.

HOW could we, being a parent, be their coach in the searching road?

• Firstly being attractive to them
• Effective taking up the role as a coach to help them clarify, discover, aware and walk the talk authentically as who they are

2. 確認及接納自己是神兒女的身分 (the TRUTH of knowing who we are and where we would become - a natural law.) A parent's role is to evidencing their lives in TRUTH.

WHY it is important to clarify the issue?

• To understand the TRUTH of the Greatness of God and the smallness of men.

WHAT is the core elements to confirm and accept being the children of God?

• To understand where we come from

WHAT does this identity mean to our life?

• This identity brings us on to the right track.

HOW could we enjoy this identity and role?

• On the right track do the right things is a natural flow.

3. 明白創造者與被造者的位分 (the source to understand where the power is - Fear of God.) A parent's role is to guide them to tape in to this eternity power for survival from spiritual death and dwell in GRACE.

WHY this is a issue to stress?

• The created one cannot be greater than the creator.

WHAT are the distinction and relationship in between these two roles?

• The distinction is simply Creator vs Being created.
• The relationship is simply the Subject and the Object, I and me

HOW could we be a good created one in the eyes of the Creator? and WHY this is important?

• able to resemble as the Creator to be ONE but in different form of existence.

信 I seek 與神的關係
via grace’s attraction
via innate conscious

我的尋找
1. 探索恩典與祈求的道路
2. 確認及接納自己是神兒女的身分
3. 明白創造者與被造者的位分

經上說：
不是靠人的智慧，乃是靠神的恩典。哥林多後1:12
神是賜福及使人成義的。詩篇24:5
我親近神，神就必親近我。雅各4:8
人非有信，就不能得神的喜悅。希伯11:6
以認識我主基督耶穌為至寶 腓立比書3:8

A process of choices for University

I am happy to be the mediator between Terence and his Dad in narrowing their gap in the choices of University.

Terence originally wanted to further his study in Japan or UK. His innocent reason is "I studied Primary school, Secondary school in HK and later likely to work in Hong Kong too. If I don't get the chance of studying University in overseas, my life will end up all the time in Hong Kong. " "I just want to study media, audio production and etc. but not other subjects." After some researches, Terence concludes that he wants to stay in HK for one year and study in CityU (Creative Media) so that he can continue some of his underground music commitment. Then, he may like to continue his Media Arts study in Canada. He finally well aware that studying in UK is 3 times more expensive than Canada and HK where he can pay the Home fee instead of International fee.

On the other hand, Ben thinks, "You must study hard and get in to a (well-)known university. Which subject to study is not important." Result! Result and Result again! Therefore, Ben wants Terence to get in to either HKU or HKUST for the undergraduate course and if possible later to finish his Master Degree in overseas.

One evening, Ben met with KC at the MTR station and they chat about their sons' further study and found to have a common view - study in a good university is the basic.

Below are the summary of choices Terence may pursue in the upcoming months:

Hong Kong
HKU – Fine Arts (Arts) or Psychology (Social Science)
CU – Psychology (Social Science)
CityU – Creative Media (Media)

UHKST – only available to one Business course because most require Maths ( not appropriate)

Canada
York University/Sheridan College Joint Program (Fine Arts cum Media Arts)
York University (Fine Arts – Film/Music/Visual)
U of Toronto/Sheridan College Joint Program, CCIT (Communications, Culture, Information and technology)

What is Humility?

While on the way to church on 25 Mar 2007, Terence asked me , "Mom, I feel humility is just like telling lies."

"Why you feel like that?" bonnie asked.

"When people try to be a humble person, usually they say "No" when being complimented or they try to hold back their feelings and expressions. Those are not real."

"Do you want to hear how I look at Humility?"

I am glad that Terence took off his earphone of the MP3 and gave me his ears.

"People understand the real humility when they aware the Greatness of God and the smallness of themselves. It's not a matter of behavior but rather a value to orient in an individual's life." I continued, "You could be very successful in an achievement but a person who has humility awares that he/she is only part of the WHOLENESS. A word of "No, don't mention it." is a lie or not?"

Terence sprinked his eyes to close the conversation. I did not ask further for I would like to give him room to continue his thoughts.

Learn how to respond/react to chao

I have understood my love to Terence is by "Patience in Love" in order to respond to his "Empty in Spirit" rebellious to parents and God.

To react, I will certainly:

• feeling disappointed;
• discouraged;
• anxiety or anger
• lost etc.....

To respond, I did:

• said "sorry" to the school teacher and request their understanding of his unintention in violating school rule;
• asked for help in maintaining his school progress during the period of absence from school;
• checked with the school whether Terence has honestly spoke up the causes.

And at last, I asked desparately for help from God:

• How could I help Terence in this case;
• What does it mean to Terence and me for the happening of this case;
• Thanks God for given me and Terence a lesson to learn, and what is it be specific and all about?
• How could this case could become a valuable turnaround point for Terence in his future adult life?
• What scripture is right to support his heart to repent and restore in Christ?
• Who should I talk to in order to calm down my feelings?
• How to explain the course to Ben, and what will he react?

Terence went to sleep over a Clavin's home at Tung Chung on last Saturday. Clavin is Terence's friend in SIS and went to US to pursue his high school two years ago. Clavin and Terence became good friends to each other because Terence was well taking care Clavin when he was burried by others in SIS.

Surprisingly, Terence returned home with a bull head. He shaved all his hair off. Of course I was astonished with his decision but still want him to take his own responsibility and consequence. I could feel that he also found regret for he originally just wanted to have the hair cut very very short but not bull. Only until late Sunday evening, he recognized that there may be some punishment from the school.

I received a call from his teacher right after lunch with Annisa, Sany and Mom at Festival Walk in Kowloon Tong. Teacher said that they have to send Terence home until his hair comes out again (this Thursdau).

This is the second time Terence made big mistake. I thought his act of this time is lacking consideration on the condequence of whichever he made a decision or an act. Last time he was drunk and hurt his head by playing basket ball. What he learned last time was not to drink and drunk because that will make his mind unclear. What did he learn from this time?

As a mother, what did I learn as well?

• I came to understand how teenagers are acting witout deep thoughts on the consequence.
• I came to understand that a deep and self-awakening learning requires a suffering.
• To the teenager that may be a suffering and to the people around him is a matter of disturbance and hurt which requires lots of understanding, patience and acceptance. If there comes a real repentance, people around will be joyful for the future of that teenage.
• I came to understand that if one cannot learn anything from the lesson, he then indeed hurting himself and people around.
• I came to understand that anything happenings have its own reason and timing, learn how to respond calmly is better than react fiercely.
• I came to understand how much I had hurt my parents when I was young too.
• I came to understand how God has forgiven my sins.
• I came to understanding how much I need God so as my children for their lives.

Where are my children?

Terence:

Where is he now?

• he went to church with me since he was 1 year old in Canada, then after we moved back to HK, 3 years to the Taikooshing church and 8 years in the hkcoc.
• he is in the teens ministry since Sep 2005
• he goes to Sunday Service consistently but without participating in any BT and group QT
• his best friends in the church are Peter and Joshua (boys) and Miko and Michelle (girls)
• he is not close to the teens' disciples because he sees the others are too serious in ministry, school studying and else (he claims that there is no fun and freedom)
• he neither read Bible nor pray by himself
• since 2006, he stopped meal prayers for the family

How could I assist him to get close to God: (WHY - WHAT - HOW)

• Lawrence suggested me to get some Christian books for him to read
• I reviewed his rebellious: prideful (empty in spirit) and needs to learn humility
• Humility comes from the awareness of the Greatness of God and the smallness of himself
• I need to bring him humble in God's Power >> Surender, and HOW?
• I need to seek advise first...........(to be con't)

Michelle :

Where is she now?

• she goes to church since she was born
• she goes to hkcoc for 8 years already
• she is now in the teens ministry since Nov 2006
• she has just started her bible study with Renee and Clara but not stable
• she does not ready bible in her normal life
• she does prayer faithfully before every meals and sleep
• her best friend in church is Miko and she gets along well with most of the aunties and uncles

How could I assist her to get close to God: (WHY - WHAT - HOW)

• I reviewed her rebellious: ingratitude (I deserve better) and needs to learn gratefulness
• Gratefulness comes from the awareness of God's Grace and one's limitation (5K + 5K servant)
• Submissive to stand in God's Grace creates a pure movtivate in total acceptance, and HOW?

Above all, prayer is the first of everything. May God set His plan for my children. Amen!

Michelle Share Faith to her Mandarin Teacher

I was so delighted that by the Neighbor Day's (11 Mar 2007) invitaiton card, Michelle has shared faith with her mandarin teacher and today 3 Mar, Teacher Zong has brought along her 81 years old mother to come to our church.

Moreover, Michelle sat besides her guests (separated from her normal teens' seating) and served them for songs and explanation on the communion. At the end, Michelle also saw off the grandma at the lobby.

Michelle was happy that Grandma got to know Auntie Roxana and they did exchange some conversations.

I pray for Michelle's continuous heart in searching God and his Truth. Amen!

What is Rebellious?

Proverb 17:11 says:

"An evil man is bent only on rebellion; a merciless official will be sent against him" (NIV)

"Evil people seek rebellion, but they will be severly punished." (NIL)

There were many rebellious examples in the Bible:

• Numbers 16:3 - This is an example of a person who is dissatisfied with what he has and stirs up others because of his Ingratitude for what God had given him already.The consequences of Korah's "taking action" are clear: God destroyed all these who rose up against Moses and Aaron—against Him. Does this pattern look familiar? It should. It is the age-old and oft-repeated sin of pride manifesting itself in ingratitude.
• Proverbs 29:15 - An example from the life of David illustrates this proverb. "And [Adonijah's] father had not rebuked him at any time by saying, 'Why have you done so?' David, though a man after God's own heart, did not take an active hand in teaching Adonijah. In this verse God states why Adonijah rebelled. In essence, David actually encouraged his son to rebel by not taking an interest in rearing him. David failed to train him in the way he should go, so that he would not depart from it. Instead, David trained him in a way that was bound to produce rebellion. This flaw of David's shows up in others of his children: Absalom, Amnon, and others. It does not matter whether one is a child of God having His Spirit or not. If a parent does not carry through with the right kind of training, then the results will surface in his children.
• Matthew 21:28-32 - contains the story of two sons, one who said he would not do the work his father asked of him, yet did, and another who promised to work, but did not.Jesus may have taken the theme of this parable from Isaiah 5:1-7, which some commentators call "The Song of the Vineyard." God pictures Israel and Judah as a vineyard. He does all He can for them, planting, protecting, and feeding them, but instead of the vineyard producing wonderful grapes, it produces wild grapes that are good for nothing.

Rebellion is "the act of rebelling; revolt; open resistance to, or defiance of any authority or control." Does this idea have a familiar ring to it, especially considering Satan's rebellion described in Isaiah 14? God hates rebellion, comparing it to witchcraft: "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you [Saul] have rejected the word of the Lord, He also has rejected you from being king" (I Samuel 15:23).From Satan's insurrection, God knows the price of rebellion. A rebellious, stubborn, unsubmissive heart will destroy one whom He has called, denying him entrance into the Kingdom of God. God will not allow anyone into His Kingdom whom He cannot rule!

In our daily lives, "rebellious" is mostly used in describing teensagers. As a mom of two teendages; 17 years old boy and 14 years old girl, what I could learn from them? Neither Terence nor Michelle are of any extreme cases, I think herewith are something that I have learned from their lives.

Terence's rebellious period was during 15 to 16 yeards old. His symptom was on giving up of his own self-appearance. At that time, he led a band with his classmates. He was very hard working in learning guitar skills, composing songs, writing lyrics, editing effects and etc. He has had a dream to motivate his band to realize the output of songs for expressing himself or his views about the world for the success of the team. Underlying, he also had a good will in giving an identity to his friends of being a passionate young man by devoting to music.

Yet, his time conflicts between music and study, his immaturity in understanding and managing people, his innocent desire from the self-egoism and his low self-esteem accumulated in the past closetted him in to a slumps of frustration and struggles with no way out. I could see that was the boiling point for his rebellious period. He was lonely, strengthless and full of feeling of failures. There stagged his sense of refusal. He refused to do hair cut, he refused to shampoo his hair, he refused to wear properly to school, he refused to talk to his parents.......he closed up himself............

"foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child" (Proverbs 22:15), a child left to himself brings shame—he is bound to get into trouble if his training is haphazard or undirected, or if he is not drilled or disciplined. Yes, it was very true. Terence's school teacher said to me in his Year 10 Parents Night, "Don't you feel shame about your son?" Yes, I do, I do but what I could do?????

I learned from God of His patience in love to me for my surrender and repentance. I believe it's God's training to Terence to guiding him to let go his egoism and selfishness to become a young adult who has patience, respect and love on others and himself. I did not give him up for his rebellious. Instead, I patiently walked through the path with him silently with prayers and gentle reminding carings.

I found he has ended his rebellious period at the end of 16 years old. Now he is 17 and is heading for another path of his life. How could I know?

Terence said:

• Mom, now I recognize HK$100 bill is just a small money;
• I want to become a movie director but I know this career is difficult to make a living at the beginning. Will you support me?
• I would like to study aboard;
• I want to cut short my hair;
• I begin to teach Year 8 students guitar for free;
• I am the organizer for a charity show in the school;
• Elders are better not to live alone or in a aged home as their mind, body and emotions will deteriorating in a such a routine and without fresh stimulation mode;
• Should I have a gap year before the university?
• Parents should not spoil their children without discipline because that will harm their courageous to encounter difficulties;
• If I could not live on a life as a farmer, I would not deserve a live of today;
• Take a 6-hour part time job right after school is quite harsh for the body.........

These days, Ben also begins to appreciate Terence's talent in music and media.

Michelle is always having a good girl image at home and outside. Yet, she has her way of rebellious. These days, she keeps on asking for changing school: from local school back to international school. She began to criticize school's policies; frequent teachers changes; low English standard of some teachers...........

Well, what is underlying her heart and mind? Instead of the subtle expression as Terence did, Michelle is in a more compelling mode. Her self-egoism in individual thinking tingles her sense of judgmental. She begins to identify the best suppportive environment in achieving what she wants, so as to elimate whichever blocks her way. She cried for losing her good friends who left this school. She frustrated for the classmates who irritates her for their selfishness, narrow-minded thinking and immature characters. Michelle knows what she wants and is bold enough to express and negotiate with the father.

She wants to get ride of 3 things:

• resign from the school basket ball team, purposely to concentrate her time in studying for better school result in order to change back to international school, or get in to a good Canadian university;
• leave the current group of school friends;
• leave the current school

I had followed God's patient love to have overcome Terence's rebellious period. Then, how about Michelle? I know her rebellious period will be over sometime but how should I walk with her? I think first of all I should not judge her but respect her expressiveness. Secondary, I should let her know that she should not solely depend on her own will and strength. To have faith in God's good plan for Michelle should be always in my heart.

A truly humble and grateful person will never rebel against God because he knows that even the very breath he breathes is a gift and calls for praiseful thanksgiving to the Father. How could I help Michelle to understand what is Ingratitude and be thankful to her blessed everything.

God will forgive any sin that is repented of—even if, through weakness, temptation, or habit, the sin is repeated. As long as a person's intention, attitude, and desire is to obey God, he will repent, and God will forgive him (I John 1:9). Jesus said we ought to forgive 70 times seven times (Matthew 18:21-22). God is even more willing to forgive than that!

I sincerely thanks my children for giving me a chance to learn about God's forgiveness. It's may be a matter of rebellious for teenagers, moreover it's a matter of patent love and forgiveness for every parent to learn. Because that not only helps our children to learn but to change their attitude prepare for the rest of their lives.

God gives everyone all the help, encouragement, and opportunity for success they need to inherit eternal life.

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Terence: rebellious on giving up himself (requires patience in love from parents) -->> from pride (poor in spirit) to become humble

Michelle: rebellious on judgmental on others (requires foregiveness from parents) -->> from ingratitude (I deserve better) to become grateful

Poor in spirit is contrary to that haughty, self-assertive and self-sufficient disposition that the world so much admires and praises. It is the reverse of an independent and defiant attitude that refuses to bow to God—that determines to brave things out against His will like Pharaoh, who said, "Who is the Lord, that I should obey His voice . . .?" (Exodus 5:2). A person who is poor in spirit realizes that he is nothing, has nothing, can do nothing—and needs everything, as Jesus said in John 15:5, "Without Me you can do nothing."

In his commentary, The Sermon on the Mount, Emmett Fox provides a practical description of what "poor in spirit" means:

To be poor in spirit means to have emptied yourself of all desire to exercise personal self-will, and, what is just as important, to have renounced all preconceived opinions in the whole-hearted search for God. It means to be willing to set aside your present habits of thought, your present views and prejudices, your present way of life if necessary; to jettison, in fact, anything and everything that can stand in the way of your finding God. (p. 22)

Poverty of spirit blooms as God reveals Himself to us and we become aware of His incredible holiness and towering mercy in even calling us to be forgiven and invited to be in His Family—to be like Him! This understanding awakens us to the painful discovery that all our righteousness truly is like filthy rags by comparison (Isaiah 64:6); our best performances are unacceptable. It brings us down to the dust before God. This realization corresponds to the Prodigal Son's experience in Luke 15:14 when "he began to be in want." Soon thereafter, Jesus says, he "came to himself" (verse 17), beginning the humbling journey back to his father, repentance and acceptance.

Greetings to UK

Happy Birthday to Stanley and Alex.

Bonnie and I went to see Cliff Richard in concert last night. He is 68 years old but still wriggling a lot on stage. We made a tour of the Concert Hall during intermission and found the audience had a lot of things in common: thin hair, thick glasses and broken teeth.But we all had a good time when Cliff Richard ( born in India! ) brought us back to our younger days.

Best wishes to all of you.
Ben and Bonnie

University with purpose

In last evening's year end family dinner, Ben's brother asked, "Will Terence study his undergraduate in Canada?"

Ben replied, "Solely by means of studying in Canada is meaningless. Terence has to be able to be admitted by a good and known university in Canada."

It is interesting that I and Ben are always having different perspective in looking at matters. With the same question, I may like to encourage Terence to choose his favorite and excel subject or area to study instead of solely by the name value of the university. Whether Terence is in a group of elite or not, sounds meaningless to me. His success is to be defined by his own term of life purpose and meaning.

The differences between me and Ben might also due to our grown up background. He is always good at study and stays with good schools and companies. May be so called a smooth and elite life. Well, I was not good at study but my live seems can accomodate a wider range of varieties in people and situations with much more tolerent capacity.

I dont say Ben is no good but his strong boundaries bind him in to a more protective or comfort zone life style. If one sees his success on how much he can achieve on himself that is also a focal point for one's life style. Ultimately, it's a matter of choice and no personal judgement should be taken.

However, if Terence is going to pursue his life with art, a rich sensation and effective communication mean to express life in both verbal and non-verbal ways may help him to understanding and create more about the life of others and himself respectively. This thought solely comes from my ignorance.

平凡中的特出

When we were watching the Globe Award, Ben and me agreed that "Stars" are always having their charisma. Then, I asked Ben, "how do you see your son, Terence?"

"He is a kind of 平凡中的特出" said Ben.

It was seldom for me to hearing Ben's appreciation about Terence so I asked, "What do you mean by Terence's 特出?"

"Terence is a kind of low profile person, yet he is excelled in his guitar music and production."

I was very pleased to hearing Ben comes to recognize Terence's passion and hard work in his interest of music, instead of what he commented that "He is nothing!" when Terence was 11 years old.

Amen!

copy right

Terence told me that the copy right is getting very serious, even towards the young people. I was curious about his upset and asked why.

"Some of my schoolmates do not even want to pay HK$15 for my CD but said will get the download copy from the one who has already purchased from me. Isn't it a very serious problem?"

I shared his disappointment of not be respected and appreciated for his music creation.

Recently, Terence has put all the songs and music he has composed during the past 2 to 3 years in to a CD and sell to his schoolmates for HK$15 purposely to make some money for donating for his Greenpeace charity band show in his school.

While sharing his feeling, I was surprised to know the number of songs he has made - I guess over 20. I began to think.....

• What is in Terence's mind?
• Where are his sources of input? good or bad?
• How does he process them?
• What is his core value?
• What does he want to express those music with?
• What are those music mean to him?
• How will all these existing stuff affecting his growth and his future life?
• Why it happens to him?

Image

With the special offer by Anita, image coach, my colleague at HKICC, Michelle was able to get a treat for a personal image and color consultation.

Colore Tone : Mostly Cold #8
Signature Color : Peach, Pink and Light Purple in cold tone, Black and Dark Brown as base color, Navy Blue can be used when grown up for formal business dress code. Causal Base can use navy green to contra with bright cold color. Avoid orange, pale green warm color.
Body Shape : Rectangle (longer in waist) avoid highlighting the waist
Small shoulder : avoid tight top
Lips and Cheek Color : light peach (natural)
Make Up focus : Eyes
Hair Style : More volume on top to balance the narrow forehead
Earring : avoid same length as the jaw
Handbag Length : avoid highlight the waist
Dress Style : Sporty Basic plus Elegant accent

Key words: choose a color can enhance and expand your natural color on the eye ball, lips, cheek.

Choose darker color when you want to keep people apart
Choose lighter color when you want to feel approachable
Cold color carries blue tone; Warm color carries yellow tone